Don't B.S Me!
As a leader, you’d better familiarise yourself with these three words.
Why?
Because it’s something that your followers are saying to you every day. Well, maybe they’re not saying it directly to your face, but believe me, they're thinking it. They want to know if you are for real.
One of the biggest factors that will determine the success of your leadership is how authentic you are.
If they think you are the ‘real deal’ they’ll follow you. If not, you’re a B.S. artist. We want leaders we can trust (particularly in these uncertain times).
Or, in other words, why should I trust you?
This question is one that Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones, co-authors of the book "Why Should Anyone be Lead by You: What it takes to be an authentic leader", have been asking leaders for years. And it’s a question that most leaders - even top CEO’s - find very difficult to answer.
If you don’t know what kind of leader you are or what your ‘style’ is, this question can be a little unnerving.
Perhaps you’ve based your leadership on someone else, or some predisposition of what a leader in your role or your industry ‘should’ be like.
That’s ok, but only up to a point. The pretence will eventually suck up all of your emotional energy. You’ll get tired, you’ll burn out.
And if it’s not in line with who you really are as a leader, your followers’ ‘B.S. detectors’ will be onto you pretty quickly.
For those of you who know me, I’m passionate about keeping things simple and summarising key principles through catchy sayings and phrases.
Here’s one that will bring out the authenticity in your leadership. It’s based on Goffee and Jones’ work but I’ve added my own twist...
That’s:
More
Of
Self with
Strategies
Simple! When you 'roll' at your best (what we at The Human Enterprise call 'In Stride'), it will be because you are sharing more of who you really are with your followers. Yet, you are doing this in a disciplined way. You have specific strategies. Yes you’re opening up, you’re being real, but you know your limits!
So how do you give "more of self" and what are these "strategies"?
Four strategies for authenticity:
1. Situational Sensing
2. Identify with your people
3. Show your difference
4. Reveal your weaknesses
Some leaders can just walk into a room and sense what’s going on. They adjust their behaviour to be appropriate to the situation.
They listen when they need to listen, they talk when they need to talk. They seem to do exactly what’s required in that exact moment. That’s ‘situational sensing’.
How do they do it?
Well, it comes from consciously taking the focus off yourself and looking around. Psychologists call it ‘broad external focus’. Where is the group at? What’s the vibe here? As distinct from ‘narrow internal focus’, obsessing over your next words or actions.
The good news is it can be learnt.
I’m currently doing an acting course. It’s amazing how the situational sensing skills of great acting, like connecting with your partner or audience, parallel authentic leadership.
Ever seen a leader who’s out of touch with what’s really going on? Not the good ones. They get close enough to their people to know who they are; their hopes, dreams, talents and vulnerabilities, but not so close that they loose all objectivity. They remember they are still the ‘boss’.
They know that if they don’t bother to identify with their followers, they’ll never have any, and if they over identify they’ll loose their objectivity. This can come back to bite them when having to give underperforming team members constructive criticism.
Sometimes it’s lonely having to keep your distance, it easier to be just ‘one of the gang’. And you have to be, but only up to a point.
One of my golden rules for leaders at ‘live-in’ conferences is be the second one to go to bed of an evening. Not the first (risk being seen as a party pooper - no identification) and not the last (risk being seen as a piss pot and one of the gang - over identification).
If I think you’re a no B.S leader, I want to know what makes you different. I also want to see a direct correlation between this difference and the building of the business or team. How are they linked?
So show us (notice I said "show us" not "tell us") your passion, your technical brilliance, your attention to detail, your brilliant relationship skills, your financial wizardry, your ability to execute, your customer focus.
But make sure the difference you promote is not just about you. It needs to be linked to people and business outcomes. People need to know you share your difference(s) to help achieve outcomes, not just expand your ego.
Get clear on the difference and remember to demonstrate it (do it), not just advocate it (talk about it). Then, people will help you leverage it.
This is where I see so many leaders getting it wrong. In their attempt to be human, they quite figuratively ‘spill their guts’.
It’s refreshing, it’s honest, it’s real AND it can backfire dramatically.
The key here is to reveal weaknesses that are not central to the success of your role or the growth of the business.
A surgeon saying that she faints at the sight of blood, a financial controller who can’t count, a team manager who reveals he hates people, an M.D who keeps on telling people she was never a long term thinker or strategic planner. Not a smart move!
It may be authentic but the real question is; will it inspire followers to exceptional performance, or simply leave them guessing and concerned as to whether they are in good hands?
Reveal a weakness by all means, but let your followers know how you are going to compensate for it and why you are revealing it in the first place.
Because revealing a weakness is not about personal gain. It’s not about you. You reveal it because you care about organisational outcomes. By revealing it you give people a chance to step in and compensate for you so everyone can focus on getting brilliant results for the business. As a team, people learn to cover for you.
For me it’s my administration skills. I’m not hopeless but it’s certainly not my strong suite. Plus, I’m not that technically savvy. Most of my clients know this but they’ve also experienced the brilliant team headed up by Belinda who take care of most of the tech stuff and admin.
Continually sensing the situation, identifying with your people, showing your difference and revealing your weaknesses all require constant effort. However, they are all essential strategies if you want to maintain your authenticity (and your followers).
Just for a moment consider the emotional effort required to be someone else. Quite frankly, it’s just too hard.
In a world that’s demanding more and more from us on a daily basis, being ‘you’ takes a lot less energy than putting on a ‘mask’, day-in, day-out.
After all:
"You might as well be you. Everybody else is taken"
Cheers
Paul Mitchell
Why?
Because it’s something that your followers are saying to you every day. Well, maybe they’re not saying it directly to your face, but believe me, they're thinking it. They want to know if you are for real.
One of the biggest factors that will determine the success of your leadership is how authentic you are.
If they think you are the ‘real deal’ they’ll follow you. If not, you’re a B.S. artist. We want leaders we can trust (particularly in these uncertain times).
So, "Why Should Anyone be Lead by YOU?"
Or, in other words, why should I trust you?
This question is one that Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones, co-authors of the book "Why Should Anyone be Lead by You: What it takes to be an authentic leader", have been asking leaders for years. And it’s a question that most leaders - even top CEO’s - find very difficult to answer.
Why is this question so challenging?
If you don’t know what kind of leader you are or what your ‘style’ is, this question can be a little unnerving.
Perhaps you’ve based your leadership on someone else, or some predisposition of what a leader in your role or your industry ‘should’ be like.
That’s ok, but only up to a point. The pretence will eventually suck up all of your emotional energy. You’ll get tired, you’ll burn out.
And if it’s not in line with who you really are as a leader, your followers’ ‘B.S. detectors’ will be onto you pretty quickly.
So what’s a leader to do?
For those of you who know me, I’m passionate about keeping things simple and summarising key principles through catchy sayings and phrases.
Here’s one that will bring out the authenticity in your leadership. It’s based on Goffee and Jones’ work but I’ve added my own twist...
"A rolling leader gathers M.O.S.S"
That’s:
More
Of
Self with
Strategies
Simple! When you 'roll' at your best (what we at The Human Enterprise call 'In Stride'), it will be because you are sharing more of who you really are with your followers. Yet, you are doing this in a disciplined way. You have specific strategies. Yes you’re opening up, you’re being real, but you know your limits!
So how do you give "more of self" and what are these "strategies"?
Four strategies for authenticity:
1. Situational Sensing
2. Identify with your people
3. Show your difference
4. Reveal your weaknesses
1. Situational Sensing
Some leaders can just walk into a room and sense what’s going on. They adjust their behaviour to be appropriate to the situation.
They listen when they need to listen, they talk when they need to talk. They seem to do exactly what’s required in that exact moment. That’s ‘situational sensing’.
How do they do it?
Well, it comes from consciously taking the focus off yourself and looking around. Psychologists call it ‘broad external focus’. Where is the group at? What’s the vibe here? As distinct from ‘narrow internal focus’, obsessing over your next words or actions.
The good news is it can be learnt.
I’m currently doing an acting course. It’s amazing how the situational sensing skills of great acting, like connecting with your partner or audience, parallel authentic leadership.
2. Identify with your people
Ever seen a leader who’s out of touch with what’s really going on? Not the good ones. They get close enough to their people to know who they are; their hopes, dreams, talents and vulnerabilities, but not so close that they loose all objectivity. They remember they are still the ‘boss’.
They know that if they don’t bother to identify with their followers, they’ll never have any, and if they over identify they’ll loose their objectivity. This can come back to bite them when having to give underperforming team members constructive criticism.
Sometimes it’s lonely having to keep your distance, it easier to be just ‘one of the gang’. And you have to be, but only up to a point.
One of my golden rules for leaders at ‘live-in’ conferences is be the second one to go to bed of an evening. Not the first (risk being seen as a party pooper - no identification) and not the last (risk being seen as a piss pot and one of the gang - over identification).
3. Show your difference
If I think you’re a no B.S leader, I want to know what makes you different. I also want to see a direct correlation between this difference and the building of the business or team. How are they linked?
So show us (notice I said "show us" not "tell us") your passion, your technical brilliance, your attention to detail, your brilliant relationship skills, your financial wizardry, your ability to execute, your customer focus.
But make sure the difference you promote is not just about you. It needs to be linked to people and business outcomes. People need to know you share your difference(s) to help achieve outcomes, not just expand your ego.
Get clear on the difference and remember to demonstrate it (do it), not just advocate it (talk about it). Then, people will help you leverage it.
4. Reveal your weaknesses
This is where I see so many leaders getting it wrong. In their attempt to be human, they quite figuratively ‘spill their guts’.
It’s refreshing, it’s honest, it’s real AND it can backfire dramatically.
The key here is to reveal weaknesses that are not central to the success of your role or the growth of the business.
A surgeon saying that she faints at the sight of blood, a financial controller who can’t count, a team manager who reveals he hates people, an M.D who keeps on telling people she was never a long term thinker or strategic planner. Not a smart move!
It may be authentic but the real question is; will it inspire followers to exceptional performance, or simply leave them guessing and concerned as to whether they are in good hands?
Reveal a weakness by all means, but let your followers know how you are going to compensate for it and why you are revealing it in the first place.
Because revealing a weakness is not about personal gain. It’s not about you. You reveal it because you care about organisational outcomes. By revealing it you give people a chance to step in and compensate for you so everyone can focus on getting brilliant results for the business. As a team, people learn to cover for you.
For me it’s my administration skills. I’m not hopeless but it’s certainly not my strong suite. Plus, I’m not that technically savvy. Most of my clients know this but they’ve also experienced the brilliant team headed up by Belinda who take care of most of the tech stuff and admin.
So, "why should anyone be lead by you?"
Continually sensing the situation, identifying with your people, showing your difference and revealing your weaknesses all require constant effort. However, they are all essential strategies if you want to maintain your authenticity (and your followers).
Just for a moment consider the emotional effort required to be someone else. Quite frankly, it’s just too hard.
In a world that’s demanding more and more from us on a daily basis, being ‘you’ takes a lot less energy than putting on a ‘mask’, day-in, day-out.
After all:
"You might as well be you. Everybody else is taken"
Cheers
Paul Mitchell
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