Yep, you’re being held back from both being and achieving so much in life. You, personally AND you as a leader. You came into the world with almost infinite potential. But most importantly you came into the world to do the one thing only you can do.

“The two most important days in your life are
the day you were born and the day you find out why.”
Mark Twain

Have you found out what that is yet?
Are you still seeking?
Are you saying “I couldn’t be bothered?”
Have you given up?
So what happened?
You got in the way.
You got busy.
You got tired.
You got fed up.
You started to tell yourself stories.
You started to believe them.

But the real problem is, you didn’t even know you were doing this. Most of the time, in fact almost 99.999% of the time, you were unaware. It was all happening beneath your consciousness.

And, as Carl Jung (my favourite psychologist and a frequent quote of mine) said…

“The problem with the unconscious is its unconscious”

When we get in our own way, we will never reach our full potential (which we never can actually do as its unlimited anyway…better, better, better, never best).

So instead we settlE

We settle for being overwhelmed, for being busy, for being guilty about not spending more time with the kids, for not speaking up more at work, for trying to please everyone, for not looking after ourselves.

And rather than life BEING “THE WAY”…life GETS “IN THE WAY”.

Here’s the good news

Sure, you can’t directly access your unconscious beliefs and blockages, the anchors that hold you in your current harbour, but there is a way out. By saying “YES!” to stormy seas, and to more adventures, more experiences, more promotions, more pay, more joy.

I’ve seen it, I’ve coached people how to get there. Believe me, there are many paths to find your way out of the forest of futility. Here is just one.

Become aware of your judgement of others

Because every time you find yourself judging others, it’s a voice inside you, whispering what your blockages are. Can you hear it? It’s just below your judgements.

“Every judgement of another is a disowned self”
Dr Hal Stone
Co-founder of Voice Dialogue

Here are a few judgements of others I have unpacked with coaching clients over the years. Once you are aware of them, once they’re “cleared”, you’ll have so much more energy to get on with life, with new resolve.

Judgement of Others: “They brag about themselves”
Blockage: “Self promotion is a bad thing”
New Resolve: Toot your own horn graciously

Judgement of Others: “They’re too pushy, too ambitious”
Blockage: “I’ve given up on me”
New Resolve: Get clear on what you really, really want out of life

Judgement of Others: “They’re selfish”
Blockage: “I’m not looking after myself enough”
New Resolve: Practise self-love

Judgement of Others: “They say one thing and do another”
Blockage: “My behaviour doesn’t match my own values”
New Resolve: I do what I say

Judgement of Others: “They are takers, not givers”
Blockage: “A need to let others and the universe serve me”
New Resolve: Be gracious, accept compliments and favours

Judgement of Others: “They are not up to scratch in their performance”
Blockage: “I can’t handle being less than perfect”
New Resolve: Know “I’m good enough”

You know it’s not even about discovering the judgements, what they mean to you, or your new resolve…

It’s about energy

Freeing up your energy to get on with what you came here for. Freeing up your spirit, floating your boat, letting your DNA dance. That’s why these people you are judging have come into your life. For you to make the judgements, gain awareness, get the lessons and move on.

So rather than curse them, appreciate them for helping you to clear your blockages and barriers to your success. For being the catalysts to discovering those infinite seas of possibility you have inside you AND ahead of you.

Small Tweaks

1. Know your potential is infinite (but your talents are limited).
2. Know your memories, judgements, beliefs are holding you back.
3. Know that those are mostly unconscious.
4. Know you can access them through becoming aware of your judgement of others.
5. Know you can catch yourself judging.
6. Know you can get the lesson and make a new resolve.
7. Know that this creates energy, massive energy, to live life to its fullest.
8. Know that some seas and harbours await you, which you don’t even know exist yet.

Until next time…

Find the passion.
Develop the skills.
Make the numbers.
Make a difference.

Paul Mitchell
“APAC’s most respected transformational leadership performance coach”

Paul Mitchell (@Paul_S_Mitchell) is a speaker, author, transformational leadership coach and founder of the human enterprise. Through leadership coaching, leadership development programmes, keynotes and facilitation, Paul works with organisations to build cultures where everybody leads.